Sunday, July 25, 2010

A short Getaway to Kuala Lumpur.
Next, Phuket or Bangkok!

5:39 PM

Friday, July 23, 2010

Since living in my aunty house since end of last year,my life do change. I feel like I'm going too fast in life,and not taking time to cool down and look upon my future. I've always wanted and to aspire myself being the best in everything I do. I'm really trying. I felt like I'm pushing and forcing myself to think about my family plight and I've always stop halfway. I'm too terrified to think further;like having my two little ones leaving Singapore back to Indonesia.Bah,I will pray it will never happen. I've get in touch with my dad and not to forget,my stepmom and little siblings. Meeting my two little ones was always the best and never would I forgot. I hate it. I want to have my family back. Its just that too much circumstances are stopping us all together. I dread to walk outside and watching some people having meals as a family or spending ample quality time with their love ones. You know how much I've always want to. My dream that can never be fulfilled and looking at families going out together. Its really shocking that I could even drop a tears and crying horribly inside. I wouldn't show it to the world. I'm strong. But inside,I'm dying. The fact that fasting month is less than a month's time and the festive season is in 2 months makes me more worried. Raya last month was sickening. It was utterly different.I remembered the first day was a crap. I celebrated my first day alone with dad still sleeping. You know how I felt like? I cried thinking that how much everyone changes. Everyone. I don't want to think or even wants to think how this year celebration would be. Now I usually find myself again reminiscing about the joyous thing my family does in the past. Maybe the quote, nothing last forever, is true after all, although not wanting to believe it and trying real hard to prove it wrong, I just found myself telling, it’s unfortunately true. Maybe I just need to adapt myself to the changes and find myself a solid ground.I know this will take time but it’s the only thing I could do now. Sometimes I just feel like giving up, and take a few steps back. I can't. This is life. Life has to move on. Keeping this thought off will just make myself ask, will this happen? This uncertainty will stay forever. I guess no one have an answer to this. I might have made a mistake along the way and regret, but we can’t turn back time but have to face it. Life is full of regrets, we can’t run away from it, it just happen over and over again in our life. I wonder why am I feeling this way when I’m suppose to be happy. I didn’t expect this kind of feeling to pop out neither do I like it, it’s not right. This sucks.

11:38 AM

Thursday, July 22, 2010

RIGHT NOW.
SETTING MY GOALS FOR MY FUTURE.
UH-UH,I'M FUCKING SERIOUS.

- TAKE DRIVER LICENSE BEFORE I'M 21
- JUST SO YOU KNOW THAT I'VE ALWAYS DYING
TO BE AN ART TEACHER.
- CONTINUE MY STUDIES AT ART SCHOOL.
-MARRY BEFORE 25. CEDEBAAAAAH...
-GET A PROPER JOB FOR NOW. NO MORE MAKING COFFEES.
I'M TRYING ALRIGHT.
-OH AND MY DREAM IS HAVING THIS THING CALL
FAMILY LIVING IN ONE ROOF ♥.
FOR NOW,IT'S ALL PENDING.

1:03 AM